"Consumers are showing signs of fatigue of celebrity marketing. The cult of celebrity has reached a crossroads - over-exposed celebrities have saturated the market and ageing populations mean that the growth audience is shrinking.

"Due to the tension I felt a little bit dizzy. I cannot take a shower because I have all the tapings and there was not enough time for everything.

Welsh bakery Clam's Handmade Cakes is very proud of its award-winning whisky cake, but its plans for wide distribution have been stymied by clipboard-wielding officials, who have declared the confection so high in alcohol that it cannot be sold by shops unless they have a licence. But the story has made Clam's the talk of its home town, Crickhowell, and everyone is keen to try a slice. Rumours that local police are planning to make cake-driving a criminal offence are mere speculation.

Whoever said that people who write in to newspapers have too much time on their hands? We found this letter sent in to the Jamaica Gleaner (never let it be said we're not thorough), and we don't know whether we should weep or be impressed. You decide...

"At the time the police agreed to let it go ahead, there were fewer than 100 people signed up. Now there's more than 1,200 and, unsurprisingly, the police aren't too happy about it."

"Our Tommelier has helped us source the new tomatoes for our British tastes, including one variety from a tiny village in Sicily which has just the right amount of sun, salt and soil to create the tastiest tomatoes for pizzas" - Pizza Express proudly announces that it has employed a "tommelier" to choose tomatoes, while everybody else groans

"While some viewers might find the ad distasteful, we considered most would understand the ad was light-hearted" - the Advertising Standards Authority rejects complaints about "sexual abuse" in a TV ad for Kellogg's Nutri-Grain bars, in which a doctor diagnoses a patient's complaints of feeling hungry as "cakey pangs", asks him to take off his trousers, then answers a question about whether he's a real doctor with, "No, I'm a baker", before slipping on an oven glove

"Aaaaaarrgh ****! Somebody PLEASE make it stop!" - BB features editor Andrew Williams goes into panic when a glitch in his out-of-office reply starts spewing out emails to every single message in his inbox, some dating back to 2005, with one baffled recipient hit with an astonishing 109 emails in 10 minutes

"One of my aspirations was to source as much local food as we can. We are looking into a sty containing four happy, fat Gloucester Old Spot piglets, just across the road from the café where their meat will eventually be served." - Leona Williamson of St Werburghs City Farm Café in Bristol wins The Guardian's outstanding ethical achievement award for its piggy proximity. 31 March

"It’s just like French bread – and besides, potatoes have iron" – Luis Ramirez, a baker in Lima, Peru, where the military has begun eating bread made from potatoes – potato baguettes, braided potato loaves and mini-potato croissants – to combat rocketing wheat prices

"The meat and potato ones are really good" - Simon Davey, manager of Barnsley FC, on the pie delights that awaited Chelsea FC owner Roman Abramovich before last weekend's crunch FA Cup tie between the two clubs, having promised the Russian oil billionaire a free pie if he turned up for the game. Following Barnsley's shock victory, we're guessing the tycoon left instead with pie on his face.

I’ve quizzed [colleagues] on the content, and I’ve been amazed to watch the influence these kinds of books can have on an organisation – James Nolan, CEO of Sara Lee Fresh Bakery, tells USA Today about the book that helped him most in his career, the disturbingly titled Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done

“We’ll do our damndest to be the lowest priced [grocer]. We will be as aggressive as possible with prices. I’m not going to squeeze suppliers, but I am going to be very assertive.” - Andy Bond, the chief executive of Asda, quoted in The Guardian offering some soothing words to suppliers

"Google is white bread for the mind... it’s filling, but it doesn’t necessarily offer nutritional content" – And we thought white bread was a good thing! Professor of media studies Tara Brabazon, at University of Brighton, frowns upon students using Google for research instead of the library

“The 12 months ahead promise to offer significant competition across the grocery sector” – Market analyst IGD sticks its neck out